In early 2001, when I was 17 years old, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. She underwent surgery, chemo & radiation until she lost her battle on January 3, 2002.
It was one of the longest, saddest, most grueling years for my family and I. A lot of it is a blur to me but luckily I have family & friends who remind me of the good times of that year when I can't remember; my mother being honored with "Margaret P. Barbb Day" in our City (receiving praise from the School Board on which she served since I was in Kindergarten, the Mayor and State Reps), being the Grand Marshal of the Homecoming Parade and celebrating my choice of attending Western Michigan for college!!
What I do remember are all the memories we made over the short 18 years we had with each other :)
In honor of my mother's 59th Birthday today... I would like to share two of my favorite memories of her (and two because I couldn't pick just one for this first history post about my mother). Those that knew her, will say... "Yep, that was Margie" and for those of you who did not have the pleasure, I will just say she was the most fun, most loving & caring woman... with a bit of a wild side!!
THE SEX PANTS
My mother had a plethora of clothes she saved from her party days... one piece jumpsuits with no stomachs, bedazzled pants & jackets (one jacket in particular I wish I could wear now, except my mother was a size 2, read "Detroit" in sparkles across the back) and a pair of black bell bottoms that slit from the thigh down on both legs.
When I was a freshman in high school, my friends & I decided it would be fun to have a fashion show with all the party monsta outfits!! My friend Ryann was the only one who could wear the black slit pants and deep down I was jealous... because I had seen them for years and thought they were the coolest. :)
In the middle of our fashion show, my mother came home. I will never forget the smile on her face as she walked down the stairs and saw us dancing around in her old clothes. As her eyes scanned us girls, she stopped on Ryann... and in a voice that I will remember always, she said "OMG, I love those pants... I LOST my virginity in those pants!!!"
To any teenager that statement would be horrifying and to most parents inappropriate... but that is what I loved most about my mother. She never sheltered the real world from my brother & I growing up, she never not asked what was going on in our lives every single day, she was involved and taught us things that I think a lot of people & children nowadays are missing. And for that, I know my brother and I are always thankful.
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My mother, the original skinny arm & big hair, on her 23rd Birthday; with her friend Cathy
June 10, 1975 |
SNORTING TEQUILA
I was blessed to have spent 4 weeks in Europe with my mother the summer going into 8th grade. We traveled from England, 13 countries down to Greece. I have so many wonderful memories and photos from that mother daughter trip, but my favorite memory was unfortunately not captured on film.
Because a drinking age is not officially enforced in Europe, I was able to go to most bars & drink with my mother on the trip. I know what you're thinking, a mother letting her 13 yr old daughter drink... be real people, I had a few sips here & there AND never left her side... well until one night.
We had returned from a day of excursions and Margie was ready to party. There were other young parents on the same charter as us and they all headed to the hotel bar. (I actually think this was the night I had my first Tom Collins and was a little buzzed).
There really is no way to say this gracefully and I'm literally laughing out loud thinking how to say it, so here goes... at some point in the night, I found my mother with a group of parents around her... which was NBD because the lady was always center of attention... that is until I realized ... she was snorting shots of tequila!!
Who seriously SNORTS shots, let alone tequila... lady you're crazy!! :)
I was a shy teenager.. and this was beyond embarrassing for me at the time (I am sure to everyone else, who started ordering shots with her, this was a highlight of their day)!! I decided I had had enough, I went to our room with the lone room key, locked & chained the door and went to bed. About 20 minutes later, my mother was knocking on the door to make sure I was okay... stubborn CAB was not having that... keep a knockin lady! Finally the front desk called and demanded I unlock the door... FINE!! :)
Looking back, I wish I would of stayed to witness this, to laugh with my mother and maybe help her walk straightly back to our room :) Clearly she was having a wonderful time... we were in a place where we weren't held to standards because of her school board election, or my dad's 5.0 detective bureau title or just because she was a mother to two children!! She didn't go out and drink when we were home, she worked hard, she cooked dinner every night, helped us with our homework, volunteered for charities, made sure we had everything we could ever need and for just one night, for an hour or two, she was free :) Deep down, I wish I was there (without an attitude) to enjoy it with her.
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My mother & I in front of the Anne Frank House... Summer 1997
PS I told you I only believed in Tommy Hilfiger & my blk pleather jacket was Calvin Klein :) |
So to the woman who raised two strong, motivated, down to earth children... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I know you are watching down on all of us today and everyday :) I love you MOM!!
xoxox
